I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
