I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
