we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
