Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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