if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
