Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just want nice things and good sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
