i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
