I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
