Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
