That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize