I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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