Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
3pm strippers are depressing
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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