last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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