So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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