You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
