my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I party with great urgency now.
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