these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
that's an acceptable place to lick
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
