i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
