Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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