Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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