Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
