he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
