The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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