Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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