Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
