Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so let's talk penis.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
