Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
im on a boat
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