I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
