When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
