I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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