I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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