you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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