$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
