you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
