She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
