i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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