rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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