Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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