I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
