Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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