Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
