You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you had me at cake vodka
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize