he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
