who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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