I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
