he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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