So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
