Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
