I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
