It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
