too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
