FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
