thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I enjoy the company of your penis
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