I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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