Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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