I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
someone owes me an orgasm
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
