aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
