i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think i got beer on your cat.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
