I hope mine doesn't look like that
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
