Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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