looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
