im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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