dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
