i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
