I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
