Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
