You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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